Worst Patients Ever
by CoolDiva
Summary: The ill and very cranky Scott couple drive themselves and their kids crazy. JasonKimberly oneshot. No biggie.


**Disclaimer**: It really, really is nice to dream...

Yep, yet **another** one-shot about **J/Kim**. You know how it goes: If ya **can't** stomach them, do a **180**, please. :-) LOL... everyone might as well just get used to the fact that I ain't stopping with the **K/J** anytime soon. But who I am hurting anyway, right? (shrugs)

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**Worst Patients Ever**

Kimberly Scott rolled her eyes when her husband of sixteen years let loose a huge sneeze. The forty-one-year-old brunette woman looked over at him in irritation. Jason met her eyes and irritation appeared on his face as well.

"What?" he said in a cranky tone.

"The sneezing! It's getting on my ner- ahh... ahhh... chooo!" she sneezed.

He nodded and smirked. "Yeah. It _is_ annoying, isn't it?"

She glared at him and he continued to smirk. Then, they both sneezed simultaneously and glared at each other. The couple had been in bed with the flu for the last couple days and they were incredibly cranky and, well, a little childish. Every little thing one did bothered the other beyond belief. Their two kids- Kayla and Brian- found it hilarious.

"Wait a second. Where's my Vick's Vapor Rub? It was sitting right here on my table!" Jason exclaimed.

"I used the last of it," Kim said, before coughing.

He looked at his wife in disbelief. "You used the last- are you _crazy_?"

"I needed it," she retorted. "I'm sick."

Jason wanted to scream. "And what does it look like I'm doing- an Elvis impersonation? I need it, too!"

"We've got more in the medicine cabinet. Geez. You're always such a big baby when you're sick," she said grumpily.

"You..." his voice trailed off into a series of coughs.

Kim sighed unhappily and stared up at the ceiling. "I feel like I've been run over by a billion trucks. Thanks to you."

"What are you talking about? It's your fault we're stuck in bed," he said, looking underneath his pillow.

"Keep telling yourself that. What are you looking for?" she asked irritably.

"The remote," he said dully. Then, he thought of something and narrowed his eyes. "All right, Kimberly. Hand it over."

"Hand what over?" she asked.

"Come off it. I know you hid the remote," he said.

"God, you're delirious," she said, shaking her head.

"You hid it so I'll be forced to watch those stupid _Lifetime_ movies," he said in annoyance.

"Better _Lifetime_ than ESPN," she said hotly.

"Oh, sure. A million movies about some sixteen-year-old outcast doing anything for popularity or some frat guy turned rapist is a helluva lot better than sports. You are so right on, Pinky," he said, mock seriousness.

Kim snorted. "Aren't you hilarious? _Anything's_ better than sports."

"Now, who's delirious? Hand it over. Come on. Seriously," he said.

"I don't have it," she said. "Wait. Where's the Kleenex?"

"Who knows? You probably used them all since _you're_ sick," he said, looking away. "In more ways than one," he said grouchily.

"I heard that," she snapped.

"Well, I didn't whisper," he shot back. A coughing fit cut their glaring match short and Kayla- who- was fourteen- walked in, smiling.

"How're you guys feeling?" she asked, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"Peachy," Kim said dryly.

"Where's your brother?" Jason asked.

"Downstairs," Kayla replied.

"Kim, the remote," Jason said impatiently.

"I _don't_ have it," she said snappishly.

"Will you just give it up? I wanna catch the rest of that game," he said.

"I don't wanna watch or hear football," she said.

"Then, shove in the earplugs and close your eyes," he said, glaring once again.

"When I'm feeling better, you better run as fast as your legs can take you," she said warningly.

"I'll be scared next week. Gimme the remote, will ya? No, you know what?" he said, then, he reached under her pillow and retrieved the remote. "Score one for J. Scott."

"Forget it, Jason. No sports. Besides, my soap is on anyway," she said, trying to grab the remote.

"We watched that soap yesterday," he said.

"Which is why we've gotta watch it today. To see what happens next. That's kind of why they always say "Stay tuned for the next scenes." Are ya following?" she said sardonically.

"If you wanna see what happens next, go downstairs and watch it," he said.

"I can barely sit up for longer than five seconds. _You_ go downstairs," she said, grabbing the remote.

"Cut it out," he said, holding the remote tightly.

"Just let it go," she said. The little tug-of-war resulted in the remote flying out of their hands and landing on the floor. Kim scoffed. "Great. Now, someone has to get it."

"Well, I'm not moving," he said.

"Neither am I," she said.

"No TV for us, then," he said flatly. "Nice job."

"Oh, just shut up, Jason," she said, turning on her side- her back to him.

"Just shut up, Jason," he mouthed to the back of her head in a mocking manner. He made a face, snorted and was about to turn onto his own side until he heard a giggle. He frowned and looked up to see Kayla covering her mouth with her hands.

Kim noticed as well. "And just what are you laughing at, young lady?"

"Nothing," she said innocently.

Kim and Jason looked at each other. Their kids had been just a little too amused the last couple days. '_Maybe it's time for a little fun_,' Kim thought. She smiled at her daughter. "Sweetie, why don't you go downstairs? I need to talk to your father."

"Okay," Kayla said, then, quickly exited the room. Laughter was heard a few seconds later.

Kim looked at Jason. "You know, Jase... the kids have been taking a lotta pleasure in our misery."

"Let's see if they'll still be laughing if we ground them for the first thing we can think of," Jason grumbled.

"Sounds good. But I have a better idea. Instead of driving each other nuts-" Kim was saying.

"We make_ them_ crazy," Jason finished. He grinned. "I like it."

"I knew you would," she said, nodding and smiling.

"Ready when you are," he said.

"Kayla!" Kim called. Her oldest child hurried into the room several seconds later.

"Yeah, Mom?" she asked.

"Could you bring up the extra box of Kleenex?" Kim asked.

"And a glass of juice for me," Jason said.

"Sure," Kayla said, then, turned to leave.

"Just a second, sweetheart. Could you tell your brother to come up, please?" Kim asked.

"Okay," Kayla said, then, exited the room. A minute later, twelve-year-old Brian entered his parents' bedroom and walked up to the foot of the bed.

"I'm glad to see you, honey. Brian, your father and I want sandwiches. Ham and American cheese for him, turkey and Swiss for me," Kim said sweetly.

"Okay," Brian said slowly. He was a little annoyed because he'd been in the middle of playing a video game. Kayla entered as her brother exited. She handed Kim the Kleenex and Jason the juice.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Jason said.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" Kayla asked.

"This is orange juice," he said.

"Well, it's what you're supposed to have when you're sick," she said.

"But I wanted grape," he said. Kim tried hard not to laugh. Their kids whined the exact same way when they were sick.

"Okay... grape it is," Kayla said, taking the glass.

"And sweetie?" Kim said. Kayla looked at her. "How about a damp washcloth for me? You know, for my forehead."

"Sure," Kayla said, then, turned to leave.

Brian returned with two paper plates. "Here ya go." Then, he turned to make a hasty exit.

"Wait, buddy," Jason said. "Your mom wants a glass of water."

'_Yeah_. _That's not something she could've asked Kayla to do_,' Brian thought sarcastically. He just smiled and nodded. "Coming right up, Mom." Then, he turned and hurried out before either of them could say anything else.

Kayla returned, then. "Grape juice for you. Washcloth for you. Anything else?"

"No, princess. We're fine," Jason said.

"Okay," Kayla said, then, turned to head out.

"Uh, Kayla?" Kim said. Her daughter turned to look at her. "This washcloth isn't wet enough."

Kayla just stared at her mother as if she'd sprouted a third ear. '_She can't be serious_.' "It's not?"

"No. In fact, it's almost completely dry. My God, Kayla. Did you even put any water on it at _all_? It's not like I ever ask you for much," Kim said with a sigh. Jason tried his best not to smile. This was really fun.

Kayla ignored the sudden surge of irritation and headed over to retrieve the washcloth. "Now, are you both sure there's nothing else you need?"

"Yeah," Jason said.

"Positive," Kim said at the same time.

Kayla turned and left the room and Brian walked in. "Here's your water, Mom. Are you guys set?"

"Sure, sweetie," Kim said.

The Scott couple spent the next half-hour driving their kids up the wall by requesting all kinds of things. Needless to say, they were enjoying themselves to the max. Kayla and Brian eventually figured out what was going on, though. The two kids marched to their parents' room.

"We get it, all right?" Brian said.

"Get what?" Jason asked.

"Come on, Dad. We know why you guys have been running us ragged. You were trying to get back at us," Kayla said, smirking.

"And you did. So, can I get back to my video games, _please_?" Brian pleaded. His parents looked at each other and laughed. Then, they looked at their son.

"Yeah, Bri. Go on," Kim said. She grinned and shook her head when he turned and dashed from the bedroom. Kayla took a deep breath, then, turned to leave. Kim decided to have a little more fun. "Wait. Who said anything about _you_ leaving?"

"Yeah. Your name's not _Bri_," Jason said.

Kayla whirled around to face her parents. Her eyes were wide with disbelief. "Oh, come on! You guys have got to be kidding! If you're not, I'm running away from home."

"I'd help you pack, but, I'm sick right now," Kim quipped. Then, she and Jason laughed once again. "Of course we're kidding. Go ahead." Kayla sighed in relief and exited the room.

"That was the most fun I've had in awhile, Firebird," Jason said.

"Yeah. Kinda makes you wanna get sick more often," Kim said with a smile. "You know what, though? Maybe this made them learn to be more appreciative of everything_ we_ do for them."

"True," he said. Then, they looked at each other.

"Nah," they said in unison.

Jason thought of something and smiled to himself. He scratched the back of his head. "So, you gonna pick up the remote?" He laughed when Kim growled and began hitting him with her pillow.

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**Yeah, it wasn't a big deal. Just wrote it cuz I'm really, really bored right now.**


End file.
